Understanding the Meaning of Change for Married Latter-Day Saint men with Histories of Homosexual Activity
Provo, UT
Brigham Young University
1998
343
Ph.D. Dissertation
Previous research regarding married men with histories of homosexuality has focused on the accommodation of homosexual desires and behaviors, within marriage, or through the termination of marriage. Little is known regarding married men who report having changed their homosexual desires in order to maintain a successful heterosexual marriage. Seven such men were interviewed and asked to describe their change in homosexual desire as they had experienced it. Transcripts of the interviews were analyzed using phenomenological analysis methods. Member checks, expert checks and external validity checks were also conducted.
Results indicated that all seven men shared the following nine components of change: (1) Common patterns of affect and cognition including emotional sensitivity, intellectual introspection, and a strong desire to be right or good. (2) Feeling different from or rejected by other males. (3) Non-sexual attraction to other males including envy, longing for acceptance, or fascination and curiosity. (4) Sexual attraction to other males. (5) Interpretation of homosexual desires as indicating one is a homosexual with the associated negative implied meanings of this self-identification. (6) Negative self-appraisal based on interpretation of homosexual desires. (7) Self-isolating behaviors including secrecy regarding homosexual desires and social isolation. (8) Compulsive sexual behaviors and obsessive sexual thoughts. (9) Religiosity and eventual spiritual transformation.
Change as described by the participants, consisted of a reversal of components two through eight with the reinterpreting of homosexual desires being the principle component of change and a spiritual transformation being the culminating component. Theoretical and clinical implications were discussed.