Item Detail
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"I Don't Really Want To Date You" (Titled by Collector)
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3/11/2016
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1305 N. Canyon Road, Provo, Utah
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Male
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Amarillo, TX
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Amarillo, TX
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23
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Friend
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LDS/Mormon
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Landen is a Junior at Brigham Young University, studying exercise science and pre-dentistry. He enjoys iPhone games, exercise, eating out, teaching, and studying. I met Landen at the beginning of my Sophomore year, when we both became Resident Assistants together (in the same hall, as a matter of fact.)
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I called Landen and his wife, Nikki, with whom I am also friends, and asked if I could probe their minds regarding their last break-up stories. They wanted to meet at my place because one, they were going to be on campus that evening, and two, their place was apparently really dirty. They drove over to my place, and we sat on my crummy couches. I placed the smart phone on the table, hit record, and asked them to go ahead. They asked me some clarifying questions for a few minutes, and then Landen went first, and Nikki went next.
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Dating non-members – Because of the Mormon belief in eternal marriage, many Mormons frown upon the practice of dating non-Mormons, who will not be able to take their romantic partners to that ultimate goal without serious lifestyle changes.\rEternal relationship – Mormons believe in the concept of Eternal Marriage. When two people are married in one of the Mormon temples, they are ‘sealed' for all time and eternity, with no ‘til death do we part. As such, Mormons engaging in dating take relationships very seriously, as they could be stuck with anyone they choose forever.\rWards and Stakes – In Mormon terminology, a ward is a church congregation. Ward boundaries are set based on geographic proximity.\rMissions – Young male members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, otherwise known as Mormons, are encouraged to spend two years of their life (generally between the ages of 18-27) travelling to a specific locale in the world to preach the Gospel. Young female members are also encouraged to go if they feel a mission would suit them. Male missions last for two years, while female missions last for a year and a half. Any romantic relationships are strictly forbidden during this period.\rBYU dreamy dating experiences – Many BYU alumni tell stories of how they met their spouses to their children, who go to BYU and expect perfect stories just like that one with every attractive person they meet. They are often sorely disappointed.
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Breakups, dating, marriage, missions, wards and stakes
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Um, well, yeah, yeah. I'll use this one. So I was in my freshmen year and I hadn't ever really dated someone that, like, I was really, like, gung ho serious about. Cuz I grew up in Texas, and wanted to date members of the church more, you know, if it, if it was in my control, you know, so, I tried to do that, and, but, never really, like, felt like I had a serious girlfriend so much. So, when I came to BYU, I wanted that dreamy, like, experience that BYU, you know, that story that you hear from members of your ward or members in your stake, and I came, and I was like, was like I jumped in the first muddy puddle I could, I guess you could say, been in the desert, kind of a drought, and so you see whatever, and you jump in, and so, uh, I tried to play it, like, cool for, for first few months, I didn't, like, go crazy and like, you know, but I\rwas open to dating anyone, and then, after realizing all my friends had girlfriends, and, uh, you know, people always had flings or relationships and I'm like, over here with nuthin'. Like, man, uh. So there's a girl that liked me, and I didn't, I didn't like her too much, from the beginning, I mean, there was some attraction, but not enough to, like, really pursue. I thought there was more that I wanted. And so, I ended up dating her and she, there was, I mean, we did the typical dating thing for, for the remainder of the year, and then, I was preparing to go on my mission toward, at the end of the school year, and I was gonna go at the end of the summer, and she wanted it to continue onward, and I was like, man, like, tried it, might, and so it, but, but I cared for her. I didn't want to hurt her, and be like, we're done, like, I had no intent to keep this going, I didn't want to be like, a jerk, and so I, I dated her, I, came that time, and I, and I, just didn't\rdo anything about it, I wasn't proactive, I wasn't smart about it, and so, I became just kind of like a, a jerk, and just started sending, you know, if she texted me, and I respond kind of cold, and I referred to her in very friendly ways rather than loving ways. More like, yeah, dude, or yeah, man, or, things that a woman doesn't want to hear that kind of give the clue that I am not interested and, and then I'm came come, and then she wasn't getting the point, and she would still, like, call me every day or face mess, face, uh, face time me or whatever she could do to, like, reach out to me and I just kept, like, pushin' away, pushin' away, pushin' away and finally I just became kind of rude and condescending, belittling, like, and eventually just stopped replying at all, and finally, one night, I, like, kind of was just like, we're over, like, I don't care about, like, pursuing, keeping this relationship, like, we can be friends, that, at the end of my mission,\rif things are, stars aligned, I'm not going to be opposed to it, but I don't want to date you on my mission, cuz, first of all, I don't want a girlfriend on my mission, and then two, I don't really want to date you, and she did not like that and so, she, didn't text me for a long time, and like, the day before my mission, she sent me like a, kind of like a back-handedly kind text, and like, hey, hope you really do well, but like, I can't remember what she said, but it was like, hope you do well, but just so you know, you hurt me kind of thing, kind of go to hell, actually, is what she meant to say, but, she said it in a kinder way, and so, um, and then, that was it, I mean, she tried to write me, kept on my mission, and then, then it was reciprocated, and then, that's, that's about it, and then, I don't think there's any, any relationship alive today, so.
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Zachary
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Strickland
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Male
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23
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ENGL 392
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Eric A. Eliason